A good upbringing is a gift and it opens many doors in life for sure. Yet, at times, your good upbringing might be holding you back a tiny bit too much. Let’s have a closer look at three paradigms your parents told you, how these stand in your way, and what to do about it.
Let your work speak for itself
“Self-praises stinks! Don’t brag!” Modesty is a virtue in many cultures. But it is obvious how this might be a disadvantage in your professional life. If you don’t tell people what you accomplished, few will ever know. This does not mean that you have to be that annoying person who acts as if he or she is the best thing since sliced bread. Bragging in a subtle, elegant, and pleasant way is an art that needs practice. So better start right now.
For tips on how to self-promote in an unintrusive way, I recommend reading the book “Brag! The art of tooting your own horn without blowing it” by Peggy Klaus.
Don’t interrupt people speaking
“Let people finish speaking!” Adults say this to children who disturb the grown-ups’ conversation. But even after growing up, some of us still feel bound by this basic rule of courtesy. Sometimes discussions are animated. In those cases, you cannot bring in your idea or question, if you shy away from interrupting others.
What to do about it? Shout your colleagues down? Wait forever for a pause? No, do this instead: Call the person you are going to interrupt by their name. Then say what you need to say. Your will see that interrupting others in this way is usually not perceived as rude.
Don’t bother people
This is a difficult one. Many of us tend to perceive our request as not important enough to justify bothering busier or more senior people. Yes, there is the occasional boss who lets you know that his or her time is more valuable than yours. But these are the absolute exceptions. The vast majority of people actually want to be bothered. Professors want to hear from their students. Bosses want to her from their employees. Colleagues and classmates want to be asked for their opinion. Oftentimes they even feel flattered to be asked for help.
Of course, you should not spam people with meaningless drivel. But if you have a genuine request they will usually listen. If you have some interesting bit of information to share, they will be happy to hear it from you.